“hold off, Is it a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, So is this a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle President and L Keyword expert Riese Bernard to go over: The Chart. You heard that right! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with pals’ exes, pals connecting with the exes, therefore the culture created by all of that drama.

Come for all the gossip, stay for your psychological running. And before that enjoy a game that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally wouldn’t.)

Thanks a lot for all the good comments after all of our premier! For those who haven’t yet consider providing us with a rating or review!

SHOW NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese put together an Old Hollywood data that is the intersection of my interests.

+ Here Is the essay We reference in which We mention connecting using my roommates.

+ My crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video clip on her track “Something to state” !

+ As somebody who has merely seen a number of periods of The Nanny this montage of Christina’s crush from the week C.C. Babcock had been surprising in my opinion with regards to proved she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they essentially still tend to be.)

Drew: I would personally end up being really great along with it present. I would personally never include some other person without their permission. However the idea of each and every time somebody was actually like, “concur that you will be connected with myself,” I’d be like, “Yeah, oahu is the existence i have lived. I don’t mind.” Usually unusual? Is that a problem?

Christina: No, because if I wasn’t, I would feel terrible not-being. I would be like, “hold off, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme song performs

Drew: Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina: Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew: And thank you for visiting Hold Off, Is It A Night Out Together?

Christina: Hold Off, So Is This A Romantic Date? is an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. To start with, could it possibly be a date? What are times? Who’re dates? Will we like times? They are the type of questions that individuals answer about this here incredibly expert and beautiful podcast.

Drew: I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina: I’m called Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer online. I am improving at describing myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That’s all of us. That’s whom the audience is.

Drew: Yeah. And so our main subject this week may be the Chart.

Christina: I recently believed it required a sting. I am not sure. That believed really remarkable, but I think it needed it.

Drew: Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Many thanks, many thanks. No, no, no. The perfect quantity of crisis.

Christina: Thank you.

Drew: Yeah. Therefore we’re speaking about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina: I like that expression because it feels like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds like connection to the internet is not operating.

Drew: Yes. it is very advanced level, really advanced, and ‘s been around since there is lesbians, i believe.

Christina: Yeah. In my opinion scholars will say as soon as they discovered the most important lesbian fossils, they found a chart alongside of those carved in to the mud. And I believe that’s just what that motion picture is mostly about, proper? It is more about the information? That film with Kate Winslet plus the sand fossils?

Drew: Ammonite?

Christina: Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew: If only Ammonite was about cavern females. I would enjoy that lesbian film.

Christina: Really, as I have not observed it, i will courageously point out that it absolutely was. Cool.

Drew: Yeah. Since it is like we have many lesbian duration parts, but we have now never ever gone straight back that much. And I believe it’s time we carry out.

Christina: Let us only hold using it further back in its history.

Drew: Before we get to our primary topic, you are however observing you. And I felt that it would be enjoyable to tackle a game where you dudes could really familiarize yourself with Christina. Thus all of our icebreaker because of this week is slightly game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina: I’m, once more, so pressured concerning this. This could just be the way I come into the game. This could be my personal online game mindset, slightly high key, some stressed. That’s fine. We’re all reading.

Drew: I believe that’s great. I think that will push you to be more vulnerable, perhaps.

Christina: Certainly my personal favorite feelings.

Drew: Only a horror, simply a serious horror. Therefore, the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually i’ll describe a scenario. Let’s call it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m likely to pause after each and every small part as want, “Okay, Christina, i am aware that you have never stayed with somebody, do not want to accept somebody. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina: And that I will possibly say yes or we’ll say, “i am ready.”

Drew: If you do not — really, we will see here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion I possibly damaged the rule.

Christina: You cracked the code? I am excited.

Drew: Let’s find out how long this requires. And when you won’t ever perform, In my opinion you winnings? I’m not sure just how discover champions here.

Christina: I don’t know there exists champions inside game of U-Hauling.

Drew: Well, I’m not sure in the event that you’ll trust that after that. So I’m getting going.

Christina: Fair adequate.

Drew: Okay. Very, Christina.

Christina: Drew.

Drew: You are at your pal’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the great number of romcoms you have soaked up, you did perhaps not choose this marriage considering you had fulfill anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. This is actually the real and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your designated chair and tend to be glancing at your phone when you understand a female at the table wants at you. She introduces herself as your buddy’s former babysitter. She’s remained a pal with the family members, but she doesn’t actually know anyone there. She looks like mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to allow you to get a drink. As soon as she stands up, you recognize she actually is six foot tall, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So that you know what? I’m only planning to stop there and be want, now, would U-Haul?

Christina: I’m fascinated. I’m captivated because i may get laid at this marriage. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew: Cool. That’s entirely reasonable. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So that you spend the entire marriage observing the other person. Absolutely merely an instantaneous spark and quick biochemistry. And certainly, you do connect as well as the gender is actually amazing.

Christina: Tight.

Drew: So this marriage was at Northern Ca. And that means you both increase your stays for a few days to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and bang. While supply to divide the expense of the now mutual room, but she laughs you off and is like, “certainly perhaps not, honey.” Therefore the subsequent 3 days are miraculous. You really feel your own walls tumbling down. You are falling faster than you ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina: So simply for clearness’s sake, i am having a tough time imagining some sort of by which we got three surprise days off work to go out with people i really do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. However, if used to do, great for me. But i am not really U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.

Drew: Great. Okay. Which is fine. You simply met. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina: Thank you so much a whole lot.

Drew: So she comes back to ny while go back to Philadelphia.

Christina: This is where I stay.

Drew: And you’re texting everyday. That’s where you reside as well as being where this girl life. And you’re texting constantly and also you see both multiple times monthly. She is really hectic with her job, but she is quick to buy you a train violation so you’re able to appear see their and stay at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. And then half a year pass. Plus one night when you’re off to meal, she asks you to definitely move in together. Would U-Haul?

Christina: And proceed to Nyc? Really don’t really love New York. No, I am not moving in at the 6 months mark. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew: Okay, okay. Entirely, completely, totally. Wow. Okay. So you keep online dating cross country. She understands that needed some time and she’s prepared to anticipate you. Even more several months move. Its today already been over annually. Your own property owner informs you they are selling your home to a developer that is investing in condos, so that you can not restore it. You should get a hold of a brand new destination. Your today gf informs you that no pressure, but the woman provide nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina: Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for two explanations.

Drew: Yay! Fine. Please reveal.

Christina: Largely, in a world by which my property manager ended up selling my house to build up it, my property owner is my best friend, so that may seem like anything went completely wrong inside our friendship. And that I might want to simply leave Philadelphia anyhow. Of course, if I have to go in using my girlfriend over here, that looks fine. That’s good. Entirely fine. But yeah, i believe I might need an external power like a mean landlord.

Drew: Which is thus — okay. I did so believe you would need to need housing for here, so I’m happy We realized that.

Christina: Yeah. That’s just what actually must eventually myself initially.

Drew: Really, I’m glad to understand what it takes. So in theory, if you weren’t kicked away, how much more hours?

Christina: Genuinely, that may have gone on for some time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that definately not one another. I acquired room over right here. We’re bouncing backwards and forwards. We are having memories. I could have try to let that roll for a long period until I guess Shoshana turns into the worst person I’m sure.

Drew: I didn’t know Shoshana had your house. Really, there you decide to go.

Christina: There we get. Wow, which was exciting.

Drew: Well, thanks for playing.

Christina: I am pressured, become obvious.

Drew: And that I’m grateful that i understand… possibly if you should be ever before, therefore if anybody’s ever matchmaking you and wants you to move in, perhaps the girlfriend told Shoshana to sell your house in the interests of the union.

Christina: Honestly the fastest way — some body would simply have to consult with Shoshana and stay want, “only kick this lady on.” And she’d be like, “Yeah, sure. Needless to say.” That could be the way it happened, regardless if she didn’t sell the home. Some body would you should be like, “Can you simply stop the girl away so she’ll simply overcome it and relocate beside me?” And she would say yes. A hundred percent she’d do this. That’s what friendship is.

Drew: Everyone loves that.

Christina: Yeah, which is truly gorgeous.

Drew: Really, I believe like we discovered many in regards to you.

Christina: Many Thanks. I’m like We learned alot about myself, as well. Danger of homelessness is truly the matter that keeps me personally moving in any situation, i assume. Wow.

Drew: Well, that is great.

Christina: That has been really exciting. I am equally happy to move into our primary portion because I think writing about lesbian connectivity using this visitor, with this particular unique visitor, I think it will be incredible, Drew. Exactly how are you presently experiencing?

Drew: I am very thrilled. This might be a specialized. And also by that, after all an L Word specialist, and some a specialist within the subject in front of you.

Christina: I believe a couple of things may be genuine, my buddy. I do believe a couple of things could be correct certainly. Can we need present our guest or will we wish our guest introducing on their own?

Drew: I’d love our visitor introducing by herself.

Christina: Guest.

Drew: I am going to declare that our very own visitor is the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina: Guest, speak.

Riese: Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its odd to-be the guest!

Christina: Yeah, it’s.

Riese: I got not to state something. I did not even do it. I did so state things. I’d to sit right here quietly.

Christina: And also you were really brave. As well as your faces had been valued.

Riese: Thanks a lot such.

Christina: Though this can be clearly a sound medium, Needs our listeners to understand that Riese was actually producing some very nice response faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese: There is many ways as heard. Guess what happens i am talking about? That is what i state. I’m the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that’s myself. We have a puppy called Carol. And that I have outdated folks.

Christina: Congrats on the kickball!

Riese: Thank you so much. I’ve been involved in men and women.

Christina: Great. Adoring that. That is great to carry for this, this right here dating podcast. That’s great.

Riese: Yeah. I think that… can there be other things?

Drew: No, i do believe which is fantastic, Riese.

Christina: What you may wish share.

Riese: I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina: In Contrast to…

Riese: You Understand when someone goes like…

Drew: Its like whenever you strike. Yeah.

Christina: Oh. Those tend to be terrible, therefore I simply just exhausted all of them from my mind.

Riese: Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina: Great.

Drew: Well, I right away looked at you for this topic.

Christina: That is true.

Drew: Because first, clearly, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian society happen like, I’m not sure, having sex with others just who people they know have obtained sex with since a long time before The L Word ended up being ever a set. But I do feel like The L Word solidified a certain social notion of the data with Alice Pieszecki. I really decided you would have some understanding of this topic.

Riese: It really is correct. Two of the article authors, i do want to state, of The L Keyword had this real information of these and their buddies they were drawing on wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was one of those. She spoke to all of us about any of it, that they had developed this. Because certainly, everyone for the reason that creator’s space had fucked others within the publisher — you realize, as well as the prolonged internet of the generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched that and these were like, “Let’s place it in the tv show.” Many of these are on the data. Like, some of the people whom … like, genuine everyone is throughout the data as a joke.

Christina: Which is amazing. That is the way you know you have made it.

Riese: Actually that sexy?

Christina: That would be thrilling for me.

Riese: And therefore for those who haven’t viewed The L Keyword, first of all, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of a single your direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s all of it over the woman wall surface. And in addition it is the title of a site that they started called ourchart.com that flopped. And also the idea … and it’s really when you look at the pilot, In my opinion. In 1st occurrence, Alice begins discussing how everybody’s linked, because every person’s connected using this individual. And I can link you, as if you’re probably no more than two levels from the me. Which was correct. Like, despite having Dana, that has very limited knowledge because she was a closeted tennis member, they nonetheless could hook up their. That is certainly actual life since it is real.

Christina: That is culture. Yeah. That’s what society appears like.

Riese: Which is culture. That is queer tradition there. And from now on everyone else can make unique charts.

Christina: Yeah. So as that would end up being my personal subsequent concern, was actually have either of you made a chart? Because I really don’t think I have, I am also sorts of today considering like, what was this just last year sitting at my home for if I didn’t generate a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese: In my opinion I done it inside my diary, as like … Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing info, i suppose, as a thought exercise.

Christina: Yeah, In my opinion which is also precisely why i will be amazed that I haven’t accomplished it. I like the concept of categorizing things.

Riese: Correct. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I don’t know exactly why it really is therefore interesting, however it is. It is interesting getting want, wow, many of these individuals, they can be linked. It’s untamed.

Drew: From the tv series, when ourchart.com is actually created, they usually have a real chart that folks can add on things. And I also feel something that you joked about on To L and Straight Back, and then individuals say on a regular basis is much like, if this existed in a genuine method, no one would put their names onto it, nobody would feel comfortable putting their names about it.

Riese: You would.

Drew: I’d. I would end up being extremely fine with-it present. I’d never ever include somebody else without their particular permission. Nevertheless the notion of like, each time some one was actually like, “concur that you might be linked to me personally,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, this is the life i have lived. I don’t care about.” Usually unusual? Is the fact that problems?

Christina: No, since if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel terrible not being … I would resemble, “Wait, I am not about it? Like, i’m very sorry, just what?” No, that would in fact send me personally into lighting moral anxiety about which i will be as one, the things I’m carrying out. Am we interesting? Would people {like
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